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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Fifteen




I hate people who give unsolicited advice. Especially on issues that don’t matter to me much.



Last week, I was posted for swine flu duty (H1N1, to be precise). If you are a Mumbaikar, you would know that the BMC has started this swine flu helpline, a 24-hour telephone line (108) where one can call and get emergency information on this disease. For 5 days, I was one of the ‘doctors’ from KEM recruited for this job. I had night duty on all 5 days, from evening 8 to next day morning 8.



The phones rang like hell. People called like crazy and I had to solve weird doubts. Basically, I was convincing them how their non-specific symptoms are not related to H1N1. So far so good.



Then it happened.



A guy called up at 1.30 am, well past midnight. He sounded old; like a retired man who had no work whatsoever. And started giving me unsolicited advice. I explained to him that this was a helpline number and was meant only for people who require information. But he didn’t care. He started giving me advice instead. He told me how people should not panic. I agreed to him. He told me that media is creating an unnecessary hype. I agreed again. He told me how America should take up responsibility. I couldn’t take it anymore.



I asked him again, “Do you need any information?” I mean, any sane person wouldn’t call up at 1.30 am if it weren’t serious enough. But this man went on talking! He asked me why there is only one laboratory in Mumbai testing samples. I gave him reasons, which are quite valid, but he wasn’t in a mood to listen. He went on talking some gibberish and I had no choice but to respond. I tell you, if I meet that man in person, I’ll break his canines.



In the end, when he was gratified, or at least seemed so, he asked me, “Doctor, tell me one thing; isn’t this phone line toll-free? Thank god!”

13 comments:

Unknown said...

The Os part was obviously funny!!

And your swine flu posting incident tragic comedy :P Jobless old hag! Atleast he discovered a way out of joblessness..umm but ur cost ;)
Btw I really must salute dedicated and competent doctors like you :)
In case I had got through the entrance into a gov med college, I don't really think I would have been able to do justice to the job!

Ananya said...

Good u had to speak over the phone...i had to examine sum 150 odd patients in a day...all of them with totally non-specific complaints....ppl actually came for EITHER cough OR cold...it was so irritating...there was one who comes and literally whispers in my ear,
" Doctor, doctor, mujhe gale mein khujli ho rahi hai...do ghante se....yeh swine flu toh nahin hai na? "...
On top of that no N95 mask too :-(

Aniruddha Agarwal said...

Misanthropist: Hey don't be so awestruck! We are actually quite maaf people!

We are as incompetent as Os!

Ananya: Hey that's bad... people have gone crazy and this is an understatement.

One couple called me up and told me that they had locked their servant in the kitchen because she was coughing. They wanted my advice as to what they should do next! :)

Hibakusha Pigmeat said...

break his canines, bag of urine.....aniruddha, you should write a book on creative explitives.....!!! :-)

Hibakusha Pigmeat said...

expletives*

Aniruddha Agarwal said...

Tragic life...: Hmmm... A book of choicest gaalis...

Good idea :)

freudian slip said...

brilliant blog..

mgeek said...

Glad to be out of medicine ward...

Hibakusha Pigmeat said...

the problem is .... u dont publish regularly.....please put up some incompetent os EVERYDAY. THANKS !

Aniruddha Agarwal said...

Freudian slip: Thanks!

Freudian Slip! lol...:) good name:)

Kaushik: I hope we're out of their clutches now...

Pi: Dude, next year, when I won't get a seat anywhere, I promise you, there'll be Os everyday :)

Hibakusha Pigmeat said...

hahahaha.....you're another self depreciating soul there....join the club !

workhard said...

Man O Man!!!!!

If i was in your place.. i would have just cut the call.. atleast you had the patience to listen...

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Veinindia said...

hehe...... welcome to internship!!!!
more thn half the way. arent u !!?
what i dint like was tht u still listened to what he had to say on the wire!!!!;-)...hehe
and u can still have wierd ..even more wierd experiences ....like people coming with goats in front of the casualty with complaints of "bakre ko chakkar ata hai " ....!
tht makes internship here special... '-;-)